Pound it.

You might be wondering what an awesome guy like Matt is doing with such a strange girl like me...well, I'll tell you a secret: I won him over with two little words. Perhaps the words coming to your mind right now are "dinosaur," "even," "ever," or "totally." Although those words have their rotation in my lingo, "pound it" is my magic phrase. The first night I met Matt I thought to myself two things as he walked past me: "Wow, he has nice hair." and "If only I could date someone like that." Really deep, eh? I guess it was meant to be because he sat right by me and we started up a delightful conversation about how big his muscles were. :) (we really didn't talk about his muscles, but it seemed appropriate to put that in here) At the end of the night I was still a little flustered about why an awesome guy like Matt would talk to me and I didn't really know how to end the conversation so I just said, "pound it." Matt gave me the "who are you, you weirdo look" similar to:


At this point, I thought I totally blew it and left in a jiffy. I couldn't believe he called me after I left such a weird impression. Lucky for me, I soon found out that Matt is just as weird as I am. Yay!

The End. Even.

Bless the Bahamas!!!

Oh, dear family, should you ever have the chance to go to the Bahamas, please, please go!  Go for me!  Go for the humanity of it all!  Let me explain a little of why this place was blissful and heavenly.

The water was so blue, so calm, so clear.  The people so kind, warm, so friendly. The food, not so great, but edible.

Here are a few picture highlights for you:

Disney Magic

We went with high expectations to Mickey’s fun land. Aaron and I had a wonderful idea that we would tackle any and all Disney mascots we ran into. That didn’t happen. We ended up ghosting each other instead. Heather used my camera to take a picture showing everyone ghosting each other. Mom’s hair is all that is seen of her because she really got into it.

Mom wasn’t feeling great that day and Aaron pulled a face to make her feel better. I didn’t think Mom had passed that look on to any of us.

Meanwhile, Aaron was decidedly the coolest guy to ride the Winnie the Pooh ride that day. Look at this awesome chain he borrowed as he waited. He got so excited about his return to the Hundred Acre Woods that he had a hunger from some of Pooh’s honey. Later he got sick. Yep, I think that was some poison honey. With a bear named Pooh, you might doubt his food is sanitary.

So the day was a success. We survived the Haunted Mansion only to be held up at the end of the day by Jack Sparrow. All in all, pretty awesome for us all.

Buying Horses in Victorville

This is my story:

Dear family,

What a fun trip we had together! As I write this, I am aware that most of the family is still enjoying vacation time. Perhaps Aaron and Matt are doing hundreds of sit-ups in an effort to out-do one another. I can just hear them wincing, then screaming in pain... oh the competitive nature in our family hurts. I believe we all got this competitive nature from our dear parents. Yes, that same mellow couple who were described by Stu as "Ward and June Cleaver". They still show it every once in a while. For the most part, however, they enjoy life very calmly. I enjoyed many hours with Mom and Dad on the road this past week. We began with typical Hammond timing. Our scheduled departure from home was 9am. We finally left at 11:30am. We stopped by Sam's Club on the way out to pick-up a new member of the family: the Garmin GPS system. We figured out that it can speak in Dutch, Spanish, American English, British English, and Australian English. There were many other languages that we didn't try that were probably very interesting as well. Dutch was Dad's idea. This was a good idea until we realized we understood it about as well as he did, "they said something about a turn". Spanish was fun for a moment but still left our fearless driver in confusion. Next we turned to Emily the British woman. I have always fancied girls with British accents, but Emily had a temper which would not do with people as lost as us. She was notably dismayed when we made a wrong turn and so we switched to our Australian gentleman, Lee. Lee was an instant favorite for Mom who mentioned he was like Hugh Jackman (while Dad thought he was more like Crocodile Dundee). So we all continued along the road with Lee. We set Las Vegas as the destination and continued along. When we arrived in Las Vegas, we found that Lee was leading us to the strip. Dad grew very conflicted because he wanted to follow Lee, but he didn't want to end up in the strip! So he finally drove the opposite direction Lee had told him and Lee sounded dejected as he said, "recalculating". This happened a few more times, but the best was just before we stopped for dinner. Dad decided that there were not really any good options for food so he went down this street towards the Wendy's restaurant. Yes, we went to Las Vegas and stopped for dinner at Wendy's...scrapbook moment. So just before he pulled in at Wendy's, Lee wanted him to turn right on a street to continue on to California. Dad started slowing down as if he was about to turn, then resisted and continued on to Wendy's. We were proud that he had been firm with Lee. So the destination that night was Victorville. Yes, it is a real place, yes, people know about it...in fact, there was an IHOP and a Denny's! We stayed that night in the Day's Inn Motel. It was a nice place where we got a deal! We settled down for the night and Mom and I were almost asleep when Aaron called...every phone we had. Apparently Zoe was lonely...that's why he called...at 11pm. So since he had called all our phones, Dad determined that they should be turned off so they wouldn't disturb us as we slept. So he turned mine off. Then he couldn't find Mom's phone so he turned my phone back on and used it as a flashlight to find and dismantle Mom's phone. The best part of this story was seeing Dad's satisfaction at his clever move. The close association with the phones hadn't helped him notice that the time zone was different, however, and he proceeded to get up at "6:40am". It was really 5:40am and he went out to the car to get something and then locked the car...twice so that it honked waking us up...at 5:40am. We had a good laugh and went back to sleep. When we finally left and went to breakfast at Denny's, I asked Dad to try some new lingo to make the trip interesting. I told him that the missionaries in my MTC district from Wyoming would say, "I'm going to see a man about a horse" when they excused themselves to use the restroom. I told Dad he should try it, to which he responded..."I'm going to go use the restroom." I was dismayed. Dad returned a few minutes later and said, "I just bought some horses". It was a good start to the day. We all got along well with Lee and soon picked up Heather, continued on to the beach house, and relaxed. More to come later...

Well that's the news from the Potomac River, where all the women are working, all the men are good dressers, and all the kids are in daycare.

Memo from Mom

Hello amazing family!

When Dad and I were listening to Liz Broadbent Walker speak in sacrament meeting recently, she mentioned some sage wisdom from her grandmother that we both enjoyed so much that I want to pass it on to you:  We did our very best as parents with what we had.  Please don't criticize us for our mistakes.  Take what we gave you, keep what you like and change what you don't like.

I guess as parents, especially when we started as young as we did, we need some kind of disclaimer!  It's tough to make the right decisions, especially when you're dealing with someone's life.  We were inexperienced, as are all beginning parents, and sweet Heather had the privilege of being our "experimental model".  We must have done all right, because she is fully functional in society, and completely wonderful.  Each of you is very different, so of course, we know it's not some secret formula we used that made you into model citizens, but the common thread that we are most proud of is that we love each of you very deeply and always have - no matter what - and we have always prioritized the gospel with complete honesty.  You all have wonderful testimonies.  When we had our Christmas Eve testimony meeting, Dad and I couldn't stop talking about how perfect it made the holiday.  You gave us the greatest gift by sharing your testimonies with us.  That deep witness is the most meaningful of all.  We could not ask for more amazing children - all five of you are our greatest blessings.  Know of our gratitude for making our lives so very blessed and so very happy!  (That's why I just can't stop smiling!)

"The world says seeing is believing.  Testimony is believing, then seeing."  May you see many great things ahead!

Love you forever and ever,

Mom

Skillz

Dearest Fam,

So, yesterday was Valentine's Day.  This day is normally foreboding and somewhat ominous in the wonderful world of singledom, but I usually just let it pass like any other day.  This year, I decided that I was going to step up my socialness.  Yep - I was going to put forth as much effort in the area of dating and getting to know more males that I could without crossing into man's territory of being in control.  In order to do this, I decided that I would have random group dinners at my house.  This consists of me plotting who I could invite that may not know each other and then inviting each person individually so that they feel more special and inclined to attend.  So far, so good.  2 dinners down and the result?  At least 1 date that I know of.  Not for me, but for my friend.  That's good too, right?!

So getting back to last night.  I decided to have another group dinner.  I know it was Valentine's Day, but I made it non-pink-non-romantic-just-good-clean-fun!  There were 5 guys and 5 girls.  We had breakfast for dinner and I made the guys draw from a hat the station that they were assigned to - omelets, smoothies, pancakes, sausages & hashbrowns, or dinner table setting.  Everyone was assigned a post and the fun began.  I was on the dinner table setting with my friend Rayne.  Rayne is 6'10".  Yep.  Pretty amazing.  He is the tallest man that I know.  I call him the "Gentle Giant".  He is super nice.  I told everyone there that they had to find out 3 interesting things about the person that they were with and report to everyone at dinner.  Rayne told me about how he played professional basketball oversees for 4 years, went on a high speed chase with the California Highway Patrol (over 100 mph for 20 minutes is intense!), and has been a movie extra often and was almost the stunt double for Vince Vaughan, but was too tall. :)

The evening was a success with our final guests leaving after 5 hours o' fun!  Yeah, we were VERY tired at that point, but kept smiling and laughing!  Many stories were shared, much  laughter and joy was had, and people got to know each other better.  Mission accomplished!  We'll see if anything comes of it.  I have a pretty good track record of setting people up and something actually coming of it! :)  We'll just call it my skillz.

Dating Stories - Blind Dates

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I think it is appropriate on this day to share a few quick stories from the dating adventures of Benson Honeydew...

The year was 2007 and I was sure that I was going to have a girlfriend that year. I decided that I would take all opportunities given. Therefore, I agreed to all blind dates offered. They started off well-meaning, but then began to shift... So, since I went on over ten that year and several since, I will attempt to make a short list with a brief commentary on each experience... (Key: PSU=person setting me up, R=reason)

PSU - The Bentleys, R - "good fit", result = Gary leaning over the table at the Hogi Yogi apologizing for setting us up.

PSU - Sabra's sister, R - "she looked through Sabra's wedding album and spotted me", result = my wallet was lighter.

PSU - Aaron's friend Jenny, R - "she's a really cute girl", result = This is a funny story I'm sure I've shared with you all. She sat stone-faced next to me in The Bridge to Terabithia as I wept like a child. She also thought Matt was making fun of her the whole night, though he wasn't...

PSU - Matt's friend Kim, R - "she's a really cute girl" (if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that...), result = first half of the night she was warm, second half of the night she was cold as ice. I attempted a side hug as she ran into her house at night's end. Kim told me she would allow me a second date... I laughed.

PSU - a friend from the ward, R - "she doesn't go out much...", result = yep, she doesn't go out much.

PSU - Aunt Lark, R - "you guys would really be good together", result = I believe I have a more clear understanding of how Aunt Lark views me... Aunt Lark originally wanted me to commit to two dates...

PSU - A bishop in the stake, R - "she is musical and perfect for you", result = She wasn't convinced. She didn't help the date go too smoothly. In the end, I ended up thanking her and forgot her name a few weeks later, and then ran into her again shortly thereafter...

PSU - Brian Ebert, R - "she is a cute girl", result = This is a black mark on my record. I gave her a handshake at night's end. I feel ashamed, but it happened.

PSU - Senior missionaries from my mission, R - "beautiful janitor at the MTC" (where they were serving), result = I went to Provo, she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and a shake to go with it. She was very chatty throughout the date, then gave me the shove-off at the door. I was played... by the janitor.

PSU - friend from Church, R - "dude, it would be so good to have you in the family" (he was marrying her sister), result = It was December, she was tan... or orange rather... Dinner was good...

There were others that were pretty neutral. It has been pretty adventurous to say the least. I must admit that I used to criticize others for not taking the opportunities that others gave them. Now I understand the hesitation. That's the news from Potomac River, where all the women are working, all the men are good dressers, and all the children are in daycare.

The Countdown Begins

So, we (mostly me) have been getting overly excited about the upcoming Spring Break Hammond Extravaganza de California. As I was sitting in my Accounting Integration class recently, I found myself thinking about how awesome this trip is going to be, especially March 19th from 8:00 am until midnight. (Yes, I checked the times Disneyland was open that day. even.) Just so you are all aware and can cease being nervous about the uncertainties of rides being closed, I am happy to announce that only lame rides are closed that day. Also, I have outlined our itinerant destinations so we can hit every 'awesome awesome awesome' ride multiple times. Even.


Estimated Arrival at Disneyland: 6:52.
Estimated Time Waiting and almost dying of excitement: 1 hour 8 minutes
Estimated Excitement Factor of Brigette: Uncontrollable
Estimated Overall Experience: Priceless
Estimated Wait Times on All Rides: 8 hours 43 minutes (considering the sheer volume of rides we will be partaking in for 16 hours, this is a good figure) ;)

Top Five Destinations:

1. Le Piece de Resistance, aka the Indiana Jones Adventure Ride.

Generally, this ride has the longest wait time of all the awesome rides. Do you want to know why? Because it's AWESOME!

2. Space Mountain
3. Buzz Lightyear "Shoot 'em Up!" (Matt's terminology)
4. Splash Mountain
5. Thunder Mountain Railroad

Next Top Five: (Don't worry, I can keep going)

1. The Ultimate Awesome "Matt"erhorn
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. The Haunted Mansion
4. The Peter Pan Ride
5. The TEACUPS!!!

Are you overwhelmed yet? Don't worry, we will be partaking in delicious treats along the way.

Top Five Treats we HAVE to Eat:

1. Dole Pineapple Whips
2. Churros (at least 3 each)
3. Dole Pineapple Float
4. Ice Cream from that wonderful Main Street Location - Carnation
5. Dole Pineapple Juice

If this doesn't sound awesome, you need awesome lessons from Captain Awesome or a couple rounds on the Winnie the Pooh ride. Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to this trip, and not just because of the Awesome Beach House. But seriously, thank you Parentals for putting this all together! It will definitely give us a chance to chill-ax and get in touch with our inner child. We are so excited I don't even think we will have to rent kids to go to Disneyland. Now excuse me while I go back to my statistical projections on ride waits. Peace. Love. Disney.

I have lost my wow factor

Hello again dear family,

I think I can consider myself an active blogger now after three posts in two weeks. This is more in response to a request from Heather to tell you all about what is being termed "the snowpocalypse". It is cold. It is snowy. As I alluded to in the title, I can no longer impress people with my claim to fame of cold, snowy winters in Salt Lake City. This is more akin to the weather I experienced with Dad when we went to Yellowstone on the snowmobile trip with the priests quorum. It is quite the spectacle. School has been cancelled for three days and it is likely to be cancelled tomorrow as well. In the meantime, I have studied, read, and watched The Princess Bride. I hope you enjoy the photos I am attaching to this post. It does not do it justice because you cannot see the frigid wind. At least the snow has now stopped and we will just have to wait for the 4 feet of snow to melt! I just received word that class is cancelled tomorrow as well. That is the fourth snow day in a row. I am hating it now that I have things that I need to be doing and learning. This would have been a dream come true as a child. Ah well, perhaps I will release my inner child tomorrow long enough to build a snowman. That's the news from the Potomac River; where all the women are empowered, all the men are snappy dressers, and all the children are in daycare.

Much love,

Benson Honeydew

An explanation of the photo

Hello dear family,

I would like to first thank Heather for posting a more flattering picture of me on this blog. I suppose your imaginations are making-up the wildest stories. After all, you know me to be quite the ladies man. First of all, yes, that is a feathered boa you see. Second, yes, there are four of them in the picture with me. My name that night was Stuart D. Muffin. They all called me "Stu"... good, Aaron, sound it out...it sounds like "Stud Muffin". It was a Murder Mystery Dinner and Evening put on by Diana who you all may remember from my exciting visit to the premiere of High School Musical 3. My character was supposed to be handsome, charming, yet stupid. I played the first two adjectives well, but I was even better at the last. I believe I naturally filled that part of the role. My character gave me abilities I didn't know I had! It was as if I was Stud Muffin himself. I had my arm around each of the girls at least once during the night. I winked until I thought I had a twitch in my eye. Yet, by the middle of the night, I realized that I could not take my jacket off, for someone had taken a water pistol and shot me in the armpits... So the jacket stayed on, and Stud kept getting hotter (in more ways than one). Truth be told, my character was guilty only of having affairs with every lady in the company (surprise!). The murderer was someone else much smarter than I. So if I am ever accused of a crime, please stand by me in my defense that "I'm a lover not a fighter".

That's the news from the Honeydew... thanks for reading!