Memo from Mom: October

Hey there amazing family!

 

I am so very blessed to have each of you in my life!  You are the best part of every day, and I am grateful for your influence.

 

Recently there has been a commercial on TV that I have really loved.  I think it's for insurance or something like that - but you've probably seen it.  There is a man in a restaurant who looks out the window and sees a woman sitting on the subway.  Time goes by in his mind at high speed and he sees the future with marriage and a child who goes on to become the president.  He drops everything and runs like crazy to catch the subway and sit next to this woman so he won't miss his chance with her.

 

As much as we would love it, we can't see the future.  We can't see what will happen next year or even in five minutes.  What we can do is run like crazy and influence our future.  If you could see what's ahead and know what it's like to have a spouse and children and love them more than life itself, your life might change right now.  Maybe you would put a bit more effort into your studies.  Maybe you would try harder to make the most of the free time you have.  Maybe you would study the scriptures with more depth, and live the gospel with greater determination.  Maybe you would go to the temple more often.  The future children who are born into your homes may not be the leaders of our country, but maybe they will.  Maybe they will be influential in ways we can't even imagine right now, and you will need to be prepared to teach them at just the right time.  When each of you were born, it was easy to love you, but Dad and I felt a huge responsibility to care for you and teach you in just the right way.  We continue to try to say just the right things and help where we can, but there are definitely things I wish I had done better when I was younger so that I would have been more prepared when you came to our family.  

 

Actually, we don't just improve ourselves for our children.  We also work to be ready for what the Lord has in store for us, and for what we choose to do with our future.  There is so much more choice available for one who makes the most of each day.  Each of you is talented, strong, capable, young, and filled with testimony.  There is nothing holding you back except you. 

 

Think now about what the remarkable possibilities are.  Your potential is endless!  You are children of God, and thus, Gods in embryo.  That is who you will be raising.  May you prepare for the responsibility.

 

Love you forever!

Mom

Another Ben Moment

Hello dear family,

I believe that over the years you have all become accustomed to what we might term "Ben moments". If this term confuses you, I might associate it with other words like microwave, directions, emergency brake, etc. I recognize that I am not the only one in the family having these unique moments (recall Matt's interpretation of Napalm and Mom's late night show), but they are quite funny when they happen. So, here is another.

Anne's visit was great this weekend. We had a wonderful time together and it was hard to take her to the airport at the end of the visit. It was hard to say good-bye and I wondered how long our farewell would be once we got to the airport... it was thirty seconds. We left for the airport two-and-a-half hours early. We got stuck in traffic on the freeway as everyone was apparently going to an NFL game. I began to worry that we would get there too late. We kept going and I worried also about the gas light that had been on since we had been in traffic. Well, we cleared the traffic with an hour and fifteen minutes before Anne's flight and were back on our way when my car stopped accelerating and starting coasting... We got off at the next exit on the momentum from the freeway and Anne used the GPS to find the nearest gas station... one mile away. We kept coasting until we got within 0.5 miles of the gas station. I got out, put the car in neutral, and asked Anne to take the wheel while I pushed. After pushing the car ten feet up a hill, I realized it would not work. So we put on the emergency brake and I sprinted toward the gas station with my thumb out to possibly get a ride. After covering half the distance, a car pulled over and a nice man offered me a ride to the gas station. He took me back to my car as close as he could (it was on an exit) and wished me luck. I sprinted back to the car where Anne was ready with the gas tank open. We filled it, got in, and were back on the way and we arrived thirty minutes before her flight was supposed to leave.

I know Dad will appreciate hearing that there were two cars that passed me before Craig pulled-over. Craig was a nice black man with glasses and a stutter. He offered to take me and Anne all the way to the airport but when I declined, he dropped me as close to my car as possible, wishing he could do more. He was a good Samaritan for me and Anne yesterday.

So I suppose the moral of the story is that we should fill our gas tanks on Saturday night. And we should always be willing to help someone who forgot this simple concept.

Much love to you all,

Benson

Memo from Mom - August

Hey there incredibles!

Here I am again to offer some advice - and believe me, it's only that - offered and not shoved at you.  Thus the email and not the lecture, okay?  I have been accused from time to time of directing my comments at certain family members, and although I have hoped for some to listen extra carefully, I am not actually pointing fingers.  Okay, so here we go.

I've been thinking this week about some of the things that make life easier - the practical things.  Thus, here is a short list of helpful hints from Mom.  Some of them you will already know and others you may not know.  I just hope that you will find them helpful.  Go ahead and laugh - that's what I'm here for, right?

• Clean out your drawers and closet and give things to the DI or Goodwill.  Others have needs that you can meet, and there are always a few things in our closets that we don't use.
• Clean one or two windows every time you get a chance - there's nothing like looking through a clean window to give you a fresh outlook on the world.
• Always run cold water while you run the garbage disposal.  While we're on the subject, you can sharpen your disposal blades by running egg shells or ice through the disposal.  The fastest way to clog the drain is to run carrot peelings or potato peelings through the disposal.  Don't take the chance of running celery ends through - sometimes they just get stuck.  To deodorize it, you can run a half lemon through the disposal.
• Dishwashers do need to be cleaned.  I learned this myself recently!  Dishwasher cleaner is sold alongside the DW detergent and is run through without the dishes when the washer gets mucky at the bottom.
• Clean the microwave without any cleaner, as the residue will make the food taste different.  Use a microwavable cup of water with lemon juice.  Put it in the microwave, heat until steamy, then carefully remove container and wipe clean with a soft cloth.
• Put things away as you go when you cook, as you watch movies, as you do a project, etc.  It makes the mess nonexistent, and no one has to clean up after you.  Imagine that!
• Recycle!  Not only will it help the environment, but it will help you feel better about yourself.
• Be a partner with others - in conversation, in cooking, in cleaning, in projects, in all parts of life.  Life is full of give and take.  Don't be the only talker - listen more; don't be the only one in the kitchen - make it a party and invite others to help.  You know what I'm saying.  I'm sure you also know I'm not the best example of this!  I'm learning...

Okay, so these aren't related to each other or anything, but I hope they might be somehow helpful to you.  We'll add to them as time goes on.  I'm just grateful to have children who continue to teach me in so many ways.  You set such wonderful examples of service and friendship, generosity and love.  I'm so grateful for your strong testimonies and the love you show to immediate and extended family.  You make my life worthwhile!  Thanks for being there, guys.

I love you forever!

Mom 

GPS

Hello Dear family,

I just wanted to add onto this blog. I think it would be a bad thing to just leave it alone. Perhaps I can add some fun stories to the lot here. I think it's time that I come clean with you all. I have a problem with directions. I know you all claim to have known this for a long time, but I have just recently come to terms with it. Recently, Stuart and Amy went on a trip to Puerto Rico. I asked if they would like me to take them to and from the airport. They agreed that that would be great. As I got into the car with them that Saturday morning, I had a thought cross my mind, maybe I should get my GPS and bring it with me (I was driving their car). I mentioned this thought to Stuart and Amy and Amy looked at me incredulously and said, "you can't just come back the same way? We're going to the airport!" I don't know how you'd all feel, but I felt stupid and said, "Oh of course I know... I was just kidding... I like hearing the voice..." In my stomach, however, I had a bad feeling welling up. That bad feeling turned out to be predictive as I attempted to return to their home from the airport. I ended up driving out to a toll bridge (why must I pay for my mistakes like this?). This toll bridge was not in Maryland. So I turned around, paid again, and almost went back all the way to the airport before I realized that I had missed a turn-off again! At this time, I decided to wake-up my dear Anne from her Saturday morning snooze and beg her help on Google maps. With her help, I made it back. The adventure would usually stop there, but I walked into Stuart and Amy's home and the security system started beeping, prompting me to enter the code that Stuart had left me. I didn't think to look at the paper because I remembered it well. Apparently I didn't remember all of it because the house alarm started shrieking and I started panicking. It was so loud that the neighbors knew that the Hagen's home had been infiltrated. I finally got the thing shut off and received a call from the security company. They asked for the password... and I didn't know what to say, so I gave them the code. They thanked me and sent the police. Let's just say that I was on the edge for the rest of the day. My GPS rode with me back to the airport the following week. We are sticking together from now on. As for the rest of you, if you need me to go somewhere, please tell me the state, city, and address. Me and my lady will get there.

Love you guys,

Benson

Memo From Mom: May 2010

Hello Wonderful Family!
 

As I kneel by my bed each morning and night, one thing that I consistently pray for - not in vain, but in faith - is that we will be unified as a family.  What I mean by this is that we will support one another.  Recently I was asked by Kelly Jacobson to participate in her Relief Society lesson and tell about how having family home evening and family prayer over the years has helped our family, and what rewards we are reaping from it now.  As I thought about that, one of the greatest rewards that came to mind was our closeness as a family.  I'm so grateful that we love each other and care about each other!  I'm grateful that we pray for each other and think about each other, and I hope that we know each other and realize when we truly need each other.

There are always times when we are in crisis mode or when we just need someone to talk to - and a friend is not to be found.  Family should always be there for one another, and I hope we are.  I hope you know that Dad and I pray that we are those parents for you - the ones who are easy to talk to and share with, and that you can easily go to for counsel.  I also hope you feel that ease with one another.  It seems that way to me, and I am so grateful for those blessings of family prayer and family home evening.  The other things that I mentioned that I have noticed are a familiarity and love for the scriptures, strong testimonies, comfort in discussing the gospel (I never had this at home!  It is an amazing blessing.), and peace in our home. 

Thank you for helping us to have success with our family home evenings over the years.  Thanks for participating in family prayer and scriptures when we had them.  It was hard sometimes, but thanks for trying.  There were some complaints over the years, but look how far we have come!  I'm so grateful to all of you for being so strong and committed.  You lead exemplary lives and I love watching you.

I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!

Mom

Pound it.

You might be wondering what an awesome guy like Matt is doing with such a strange girl like me...well, I'll tell you a secret: I won him over with two little words. Perhaps the words coming to your mind right now are "dinosaur," "even," "ever," or "totally." Although those words have their rotation in my lingo, "pound it" is my magic phrase. The first night I met Matt I thought to myself two things as he walked past me: "Wow, he has nice hair." and "If only I could date someone like that." Really deep, eh? I guess it was meant to be because he sat right by me and we started up a delightful conversation about how big his muscles were. :) (we really didn't talk about his muscles, but it seemed appropriate to put that in here) At the end of the night I was still a little flustered about why an awesome guy like Matt would talk to me and I didn't really know how to end the conversation so I just said, "pound it." Matt gave me the "who are you, you weirdo look" similar to:


At this point, I thought I totally blew it and left in a jiffy. I couldn't believe he called me after I left such a weird impression. Lucky for me, I soon found out that Matt is just as weird as I am. Yay!

The End. Even.

Bless the Bahamas!!!

Oh, dear family, should you ever have the chance to go to the Bahamas, please, please go!  Go for me!  Go for the humanity of it all!  Let me explain a little of why this place was blissful and heavenly.

The water was so blue, so calm, so clear.  The people so kind, warm, so friendly. The food, not so great, but edible.

Here are a few picture highlights for you:

Disney Magic

We went with high expectations to Mickey’s fun land. Aaron and I had a wonderful idea that we would tackle any and all Disney mascots we ran into. That didn’t happen. We ended up ghosting each other instead. Heather used my camera to take a picture showing everyone ghosting each other. Mom’s hair is all that is seen of her because she really got into it.

Mom wasn’t feeling great that day and Aaron pulled a face to make her feel better. I didn’t think Mom had passed that look on to any of us.

Meanwhile, Aaron was decidedly the coolest guy to ride the Winnie the Pooh ride that day. Look at this awesome chain he borrowed as he waited. He got so excited about his return to the Hundred Acre Woods that he had a hunger from some of Pooh’s honey. Later he got sick. Yep, I think that was some poison honey. With a bear named Pooh, you might doubt his food is sanitary.

So the day was a success. We survived the Haunted Mansion only to be held up at the end of the day by Jack Sparrow. All in all, pretty awesome for us all.

Buying Horses in Victorville

This is my story:

Dear family,

What a fun trip we had together! As I write this, I am aware that most of the family is still enjoying vacation time. Perhaps Aaron and Matt are doing hundreds of sit-ups in an effort to out-do one another. I can just hear them wincing, then screaming in pain... oh the competitive nature in our family hurts. I believe we all got this competitive nature from our dear parents. Yes, that same mellow couple who were described by Stu as "Ward and June Cleaver". They still show it every once in a while. For the most part, however, they enjoy life very calmly. I enjoyed many hours with Mom and Dad on the road this past week. We began with typical Hammond timing. Our scheduled departure from home was 9am. We finally left at 11:30am. We stopped by Sam's Club on the way out to pick-up a new member of the family: the Garmin GPS system. We figured out that it can speak in Dutch, Spanish, American English, British English, and Australian English. There were many other languages that we didn't try that were probably very interesting as well. Dutch was Dad's idea. This was a good idea until we realized we understood it about as well as he did, "they said something about a turn". Spanish was fun for a moment but still left our fearless driver in confusion. Next we turned to Emily the British woman. I have always fancied girls with British accents, but Emily had a temper which would not do with people as lost as us. She was notably dismayed when we made a wrong turn and so we switched to our Australian gentleman, Lee. Lee was an instant favorite for Mom who mentioned he was like Hugh Jackman (while Dad thought he was more like Crocodile Dundee). So we all continued along the road with Lee. We set Las Vegas as the destination and continued along. When we arrived in Las Vegas, we found that Lee was leading us to the strip. Dad grew very conflicted because he wanted to follow Lee, but he didn't want to end up in the strip! So he finally drove the opposite direction Lee had told him and Lee sounded dejected as he said, "recalculating". This happened a few more times, but the best was just before we stopped for dinner. Dad decided that there were not really any good options for food so he went down this street towards the Wendy's restaurant. Yes, we went to Las Vegas and stopped for dinner at Wendy's...scrapbook moment. So just before he pulled in at Wendy's, Lee wanted him to turn right on a street to continue on to California. Dad started slowing down as if he was about to turn, then resisted and continued on to Wendy's. We were proud that he had been firm with Lee. So the destination that night was Victorville. Yes, it is a real place, yes, people know about it...in fact, there was an IHOP and a Denny's! We stayed that night in the Day's Inn Motel. It was a nice place where we got a deal! We settled down for the night and Mom and I were almost asleep when Aaron called...every phone we had. Apparently Zoe was lonely...that's why he called...at 11pm. So since he had called all our phones, Dad determined that they should be turned off so they wouldn't disturb us as we slept. So he turned mine off. Then he couldn't find Mom's phone so he turned my phone back on and used it as a flashlight to find and dismantle Mom's phone. The best part of this story was seeing Dad's satisfaction at his clever move. The close association with the phones hadn't helped him notice that the time zone was different, however, and he proceeded to get up at "6:40am". It was really 5:40am and he went out to the car to get something and then locked the car...twice so that it honked waking us up...at 5:40am. We had a good laugh and went back to sleep. When we finally left and went to breakfast at Denny's, I asked Dad to try some new lingo to make the trip interesting. I told him that the missionaries in my MTC district from Wyoming would say, "I'm going to see a man about a horse" when they excused themselves to use the restroom. I told Dad he should try it, to which he responded..."I'm going to go use the restroom." I was dismayed. Dad returned a few minutes later and said, "I just bought some horses". It was a good start to the day. We all got along well with Lee and soon picked up Heather, continued on to the beach house, and relaxed. More to come later...

Well that's the news from the Potomac River, where all the women are working, all the men are good dressers, and all the kids are in daycare.

Memo from Mom

Hello amazing family!

When Dad and I were listening to Liz Broadbent Walker speak in sacrament meeting recently, she mentioned some sage wisdom from her grandmother that we both enjoyed so much that I want to pass it on to you:  We did our very best as parents with what we had.  Please don't criticize us for our mistakes.  Take what we gave you, keep what you like and change what you don't like.

I guess as parents, especially when we started as young as we did, we need some kind of disclaimer!  It's tough to make the right decisions, especially when you're dealing with someone's life.  We were inexperienced, as are all beginning parents, and sweet Heather had the privilege of being our "experimental model".  We must have done all right, because she is fully functional in society, and completely wonderful.  Each of you is very different, so of course, we know it's not some secret formula we used that made you into model citizens, but the common thread that we are most proud of is that we love each of you very deeply and always have - no matter what - and we have always prioritized the gospel with complete honesty.  You all have wonderful testimonies.  When we had our Christmas Eve testimony meeting, Dad and I couldn't stop talking about how perfect it made the holiday.  You gave us the greatest gift by sharing your testimonies with us.  That deep witness is the most meaningful of all.  We could not ask for more amazing children - all five of you are our greatest blessings.  Know of our gratitude for making our lives so very blessed and so very happy!  (That's why I just can't stop smiling!)

"The world says seeing is believing.  Testimony is believing, then seeing."  May you see many great things ahead!

Love you forever and ever,

Mom

Skillz

Dearest Fam,

So, yesterday was Valentine's Day.  This day is normally foreboding and somewhat ominous in the wonderful world of singledom, but I usually just let it pass like any other day.  This year, I decided that I was going to step up my socialness.  Yep - I was going to put forth as much effort in the area of dating and getting to know more males that I could without crossing into man's territory of being in control.  In order to do this, I decided that I would have random group dinners at my house.  This consists of me plotting who I could invite that may not know each other and then inviting each person individually so that they feel more special and inclined to attend.  So far, so good.  2 dinners down and the result?  At least 1 date that I know of.  Not for me, but for my friend.  That's good too, right?!

So getting back to last night.  I decided to have another group dinner.  I know it was Valentine's Day, but I made it non-pink-non-romantic-just-good-clean-fun!  There were 5 guys and 5 girls.  We had breakfast for dinner and I made the guys draw from a hat the station that they were assigned to - omelets, smoothies, pancakes, sausages & hashbrowns, or dinner table setting.  Everyone was assigned a post and the fun began.  I was on the dinner table setting with my friend Rayne.  Rayne is 6'10".  Yep.  Pretty amazing.  He is the tallest man that I know.  I call him the "Gentle Giant".  He is super nice.  I told everyone there that they had to find out 3 interesting things about the person that they were with and report to everyone at dinner.  Rayne told me about how he played professional basketball oversees for 4 years, went on a high speed chase with the California Highway Patrol (over 100 mph for 20 minutes is intense!), and has been a movie extra often and was almost the stunt double for Vince Vaughan, but was too tall. :)

The evening was a success with our final guests leaving after 5 hours o' fun!  Yeah, we were VERY tired at that point, but kept smiling and laughing!  Many stories were shared, much  laughter and joy was had, and people got to know each other better.  Mission accomplished!  We'll see if anything comes of it.  I have a pretty good track record of setting people up and something actually coming of it! :)  We'll just call it my skillz.

Dating Stories - Blind Dates

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I think it is appropriate on this day to share a few quick stories from the dating adventures of Benson Honeydew...

The year was 2007 and I was sure that I was going to have a girlfriend that year. I decided that I would take all opportunities given. Therefore, I agreed to all blind dates offered. They started off well-meaning, but then began to shift... So, since I went on over ten that year and several since, I will attempt to make a short list with a brief commentary on each experience... (Key: PSU=person setting me up, R=reason)

PSU - The Bentleys, R - "good fit", result = Gary leaning over the table at the Hogi Yogi apologizing for setting us up.

PSU - Sabra's sister, R - "she looked through Sabra's wedding album and spotted me", result = my wallet was lighter.

PSU - Aaron's friend Jenny, R - "she's a really cute girl", result = This is a funny story I'm sure I've shared with you all. She sat stone-faced next to me in The Bridge to Terabithia as I wept like a child. She also thought Matt was making fun of her the whole night, though he wasn't...

PSU - Matt's friend Kim, R - "she's a really cute girl" (if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that...), result = first half of the night she was warm, second half of the night she was cold as ice. I attempted a side hug as she ran into her house at night's end. Kim told me she would allow me a second date... I laughed.

PSU - a friend from the ward, R - "she doesn't go out much...", result = yep, she doesn't go out much.

PSU - Aunt Lark, R - "you guys would really be good together", result = I believe I have a more clear understanding of how Aunt Lark views me... Aunt Lark originally wanted me to commit to two dates...

PSU - A bishop in the stake, R - "she is musical and perfect for you", result = She wasn't convinced. She didn't help the date go too smoothly. In the end, I ended up thanking her and forgot her name a few weeks later, and then ran into her again shortly thereafter...

PSU - Brian Ebert, R - "she is a cute girl", result = This is a black mark on my record. I gave her a handshake at night's end. I feel ashamed, but it happened.

PSU - Senior missionaries from my mission, R - "beautiful janitor at the MTC" (where they were serving), result = I went to Provo, she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and a shake to go with it. She was very chatty throughout the date, then gave me the shove-off at the door. I was played... by the janitor.

PSU - friend from Church, R - "dude, it would be so good to have you in the family" (he was marrying her sister), result = It was December, she was tan... or orange rather... Dinner was good...

There were others that were pretty neutral. It has been pretty adventurous to say the least. I must admit that I used to criticize others for not taking the opportunities that others gave them. Now I understand the hesitation. That's the news from Potomac River, where all the women are working, all the men are good dressers, and all the children are in daycare.

The Countdown Begins

So, we (mostly me) have been getting overly excited about the upcoming Spring Break Hammond Extravaganza de California. As I was sitting in my Accounting Integration class recently, I found myself thinking about how awesome this trip is going to be, especially March 19th from 8:00 am until midnight. (Yes, I checked the times Disneyland was open that day. even.) Just so you are all aware and can cease being nervous about the uncertainties of rides being closed, I am happy to announce that only lame rides are closed that day. Also, I have outlined our itinerant destinations so we can hit every 'awesome awesome awesome' ride multiple times. Even.


Estimated Arrival at Disneyland: 6:52.
Estimated Time Waiting and almost dying of excitement: 1 hour 8 minutes
Estimated Excitement Factor of Brigette: Uncontrollable
Estimated Overall Experience: Priceless
Estimated Wait Times on All Rides: 8 hours 43 minutes (considering the sheer volume of rides we will be partaking in for 16 hours, this is a good figure) ;)

Top Five Destinations:

1. Le Piece de Resistance, aka the Indiana Jones Adventure Ride.

Generally, this ride has the longest wait time of all the awesome rides. Do you want to know why? Because it's AWESOME!

2. Space Mountain
3. Buzz Lightyear "Shoot 'em Up!" (Matt's terminology)
4. Splash Mountain
5. Thunder Mountain Railroad

Next Top Five: (Don't worry, I can keep going)

1. The Ultimate Awesome "Matt"erhorn
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. The Haunted Mansion
4. The Peter Pan Ride
5. The TEACUPS!!!

Are you overwhelmed yet? Don't worry, we will be partaking in delicious treats along the way.

Top Five Treats we HAVE to Eat:

1. Dole Pineapple Whips
2. Churros (at least 3 each)
3. Dole Pineapple Float
4. Ice Cream from that wonderful Main Street Location - Carnation
5. Dole Pineapple Juice

If this doesn't sound awesome, you need awesome lessons from Captain Awesome or a couple rounds on the Winnie the Pooh ride. Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to this trip, and not just because of the Awesome Beach House. But seriously, thank you Parentals for putting this all together! It will definitely give us a chance to chill-ax and get in touch with our inner child. We are so excited I don't even think we will have to rent kids to go to Disneyland. Now excuse me while I go back to my statistical projections on ride waits. Peace. Love. Disney.

I have lost my wow factor

Hello again dear family,

I think I can consider myself an active blogger now after three posts in two weeks. This is more in response to a request from Heather to tell you all about what is being termed "the snowpocalypse". It is cold. It is snowy. As I alluded to in the title, I can no longer impress people with my claim to fame of cold, snowy winters in Salt Lake City. This is more akin to the weather I experienced with Dad when we went to Yellowstone on the snowmobile trip with the priests quorum. It is quite the spectacle. School has been cancelled for three days and it is likely to be cancelled tomorrow as well. In the meantime, I have studied, read, and watched The Princess Bride. I hope you enjoy the photos I am attaching to this post. It does not do it justice because you cannot see the frigid wind. At least the snow has now stopped and we will just have to wait for the 4 feet of snow to melt! I just received word that class is cancelled tomorrow as well. That is the fourth snow day in a row. I am hating it now that I have things that I need to be doing and learning. This would have been a dream come true as a child. Ah well, perhaps I will release my inner child tomorrow long enough to build a snowman. That's the news from the Potomac River; where all the women are empowered, all the men are snappy dressers, and all the children are in daycare.

Much love,

Benson Honeydew

An explanation of the photo

Hello dear family,

I would like to first thank Heather for posting a more flattering picture of me on this blog. I suppose your imaginations are making-up the wildest stories. After all, you know me to be quite the ladies man. First of all, yes, that is a feathered boa you see. Second, yes, there are four of them in the picture with me. My name that night was Stuart D. Muffin. They all called me "Stu"... good, Aaron, sound it out...it sounds like "Stud Muffin". It was a Murder Mystery Dinner and Evening put on by Diana who you all may remember from my exciting visit to the premiere of High School Musical 3. My character was supposed to be handsome, charming, yet stupid. I played the first two adjectives well, but I was even better at the last. I believe I naturally filled that part of the role. My character gave me abilities I didn't know I had! It was as if I was Stud Muffin himself. I had my arm around each of the girls at least once during the night. I winked until I thought I had a twitch in my eye. Yet, by the middle of the night, I realized that I could not take my jacket off, for someone had taken a water pistol and shot me in the armpits... So the jacket stayed on, and Stud kept getting hotter (in more ways than one). Truth be told, my character was guilty only of having affairs with every lady in the company (surprise!). The murderer was someone else much smarter than I. So if I am ever accused of a crime, please stand by me in my defense that "I'm a lover not a fighter".

That's the news from the Honeydew... thanks for reading!

This Little Light of Mine. . . .

Family,

Sunday was a good day.  A long day, really.  Like most Sundays I had many things to do and many places to be.  After a long evening filled with a Sunday stroll, playing with children, eating dinner at 2 houses, and spending some time with my roommates, it was time for the climactic event.  The event that tops all events.  The birthday of my dear friend Karl.

Karl is a strange chap.  He called me one night last year and said, "Heather, I need friends and you're cool.  I have a girlfriend right now, but I need someone to come be my friend tonight with my friend who's visiting and his date. . . ."  I was also dating someone and thought this proposal quite strange, but then again, it was Karl!

To celebrate his birthday this year, he decided one morning at 4 a.m. (his evening) that he wanted to hold a candlelight vigil.  We all received and Evite and thought - wow - that's so Karl!  Here is what it said:


For my birthday I want a candlelight vigil.  So I am going to have one.  Here's the details:

First, if you can, dress in all black, or all dark colors.  I will have a cheap mask (maybe) to wear and a candle for you to hold.  (I am seeing a bunch of people holding candles in front of masked faces at night all dressed in black and I think it will be kind of surreal.)

To prepare for this solemn occasion we will attend services at Stanford Memorial church beginning at 9 PM: A reflective 30-minute service of hymns and chant sung in the tranquil candlelit ambiance of Memorial Church.

Then Bob, who will MC the event, will usher us onto the steps of Stanford by the Oval for a short program around 9:30:

Bob: Opening Remarks
Opening Hymn: "Choose the Right"
Group: Share feelings, song, poetry, or dance as you feel inspired to come before the group -- "what it means to be a friend" or "what it means to grow a year older" are all acceptable topics, or anything that is important to you, this is a safe environment for everyone to open up and share, no one will judge you--certainly not me.
Birthday Boy: Brief remarks
Happy Birthday / Irish Drinking Song: Whiskey in the jar (lyrics will be printed out, Bob will play the guitar, everyone sing, and carouse, then I guess shout Happy Bday, because the song has nothing to do with birthdays.)
Cupcakes

Go home by 10 PM.

I think it will be fun.  Or at least different. 

And it was different!  I don't think that I've ever laughed so hard in my life!  We all showed up at Memorial Church on Stanford's campus for the Sunday evening chant at 9 p.m.  At 9:30, as it ended, we exited the church and went outside and gathered, to memorialize . . . er . . . honor our dear friend.  His roommate Bob who conducted opened with "Thank you for coming to celebrate the life and eventual death of our friend Karl."  He then opened it up to remarks from the "mourners".  There were odes and haikus read in his honor, then we closed with an Irish drinking song that is still stuck in my head. (click on the link in the invite)

All in all, it was the most different and hilarious birthday "memorial" that I have ever been to!

We Love You!!!

Mom and Dad!

Because we love you so very much, we wanted to start recording some of our memories, thoughts and other stuff in a blog for you.  We all have access to this blog - including you two, so you may post things whenever you like.  I required all of the kids to post something to start us off in honor of your anniversary, so enjoy their stories and jabs!  Happy 30th Anniversary!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!!!
The Gang (a.k.a. The Troops, Adult Offspring, the kids, HMBBA, etc.)

A Dedication from Aaron

All that I have to say is that our parents have set many memorable records that, as far as I know, have yet to be topped.

Let us begin with Mother,

-The first (and I believe only) woman in the history of the world to get into a physical fight with a towel rack and lose.

I am fairly certain that we can all remember and respect the nights with Mom and her strange out of body experiences. There were the nights where she would try to hit me and I slowly moved out of her way as her hand drifted delicately by. The nights where we couldn't pray due to her mufffled laughter. The nights where Mom couldn't walk to bed without running into several walls or banisters. The nights where Mom would talk like an alien; "live long and prosper". All of these were good times and they serve as small reminders of Mom's party life as a youngster. Good times Mom, good times.
Now, back to the original story, Mom slipped into the bathroom late at night in one of her moods. Tried to wash up with the light off, ran into a wall and ripped the towels off. The night didn't get much better since she fell off the bed trying to get back in. Love you Mom, thanks for making childhood exciting!

Now Dad,

-The only Bishop to ever violate his own safety rules... in the middle of their presentation.

I was young, but I remember two things; riding on the back of the jet ski and seeing the look of horror on Ben's face. Long story short, Dad thought that it would be funny to drive his jet ski as fast as he could at Ben in his little canoe and then stop right before impact. The plan was excecuted flawlessly but aparently this violated a water safety rule and the ward witnessed the act in the middle of their safety lecture. If it means anything Dad, your kids loved it! (Well, Matt and Aaron at least).

You guys really are the best. You have set a great example for all of us as to what a good marriage involves and I believe that all of your kids will benefit from the example that you have given us. Happy 30th anniversary Mom and Dad! Love ya!
-Aaron

Travels with the King's Singers

I remember the amazing travels of our family in the early years. I remember how we all had our place in the car. Heather was in the back seat corner. Matt was also in the back seat in the other corner. That left Aaron and I to duke it out for the window seat in the front. With the advent of portable cd players, we lost something special from our exciting adventures. It was the music and car games put on by Mom and Dad! First, Mom would start us off with a rousing license plate game, then move on to "I spy with my little eye". After these games started dying down, Dad would seize his opportunity and pushed in one of The King's Singers cassettes. Then Mom and Dad got into this mellow mood and sit up at the front talking quietly and holding hands. We all remember this from the back of the car. The AC was blowing heavily on us, we had finished most of the candy Mom had bought for the trip and Aaron was staring intently out the window trying not to get sick. This is when I was forced to relinquish my window seat if I had secured it by some miracle earlier. So I sat there in the front seat without something to lean on. Everyone else was doing their own thing, and I felt sick from licorice mixed with wheat thin crackers and "healthy grapes" that Mom had packed. Without anything to lean on, I sort of slumped forward and let my head roll back and forth with the car as I tried to close my eyes. The King's Singers then came into focus and it was like they were always singing the same song, "good, good good! good vibrations!" I have since learned about the phenomenon called "classical conditioning". Pavlov's dogs are the perfect example of this. The King's Singers work in a similar way for all of us I believe. I sort of slump forward in my chair, get a pain in my belly, and start drifting off to sleep. There will always be the better association in my mind, however, of Mom and Dad holding hands, wearing their sunglasses, and talking quietly in the front of the car. Even though Dad usually didn't hear what Mom was saying, slowly nodding while she talked, it will always be a favorite memory for me of our parents completely content with each other. Your harmony as a couple is far superior to the dulcet tones of the King's Singers. And, even better, it doesn't make us all sick. I sure love you two and am so grateful for your marriage and love for each other. It has made my life so much better as a result.

A History of Games

Does this look familiar?


So we thought that some of our favorite memories with Mom and Dad have come while we've played games. The Wrath of the Shocker, the Dreaded Killer Bunnies, and the Always -Fun-to-Watch-Old-People-Lose Spaz Uno.

The Wrath of the Shocker

One night, Brigette and I thought it would be fun to introduce this lovely contraption to our elders at the Hammond pad. We entered with a pre-conceived plan on how to trick them into getting electrocuted by this horrific device.

The Scene: "The Kitchen Table."

"Hey, Dad! Grab this metal handle and we'll play this fun game!"

"Okay, Son. I trust you with my life."

"Hey, Mom! Come play this game with us. It's the best game ever!"(chortle-chortle)

"Oh, oh, let me finish this real quick! I'll be right over!"

(Pops seats himself at the table while Mom continues cleaning, oblivious to their children's evil ways)

"Basically, once the creepy song starts, you need to hit the button on top of the handle as fast as you can. Whoever hits it first wins!" (chortle-chortle)

"Sure thing, Son. "

(Pops grabs the handle rapidly. Momma Gulia finishes drying off a pot and then grabs the second handle after Pops has tried to call her away from cleaning for several minutes)"

"Okay, let's start!"

(Evil music commences and chaos ensues. Pops hits the button as fast as he can and gets electrocuted)

"Ahh!"

(Pops leaps up from the table)

"Oh, oh, oh!"

(Mom gets shocked simultaneously and yelps in pain)
(Matt and Brigette succumb to fits of laughter for the next several days. Hence forth, Matt and Brigette aren't allowed to bring games over)

The End

This is just a snippet of the epic of the Games. Prior to this experience, Killer Bunnies nearly cost us our marriage. On New Year's Eve, Pops wanted us to organize and play a game sent over with Brigette by Larissa called Killer Bunnies. About fifteen minutes into the instructions, Pops decided against participating further and abruptly left his hand of cards on the table. Brigette and I probably should've followed suit before I killed her hoard of bunnies with a Meteor card. That game was also banned from the Hammond Pad as well as from the M & B Casa de Awesomeness.

Several weeks back, we played a game of Spaz Uno with Aaron and the Padres. Each game had a very similar pattern: Brigette, Aaron, and I would all run out of cards as Dad's hand grew steadily and Mom's hand grew exponentially. Out of 50 tries, Mom would take the pot 47 times. Dad would get the rest because he loves his wife.

The Elderly continue to wow us with their tolerance. These stories are some simple examples of how much they can put up with. Every sunday night, we get to enjoy some time with them and they always make the occasion great. We have decided that we'll likely try to mirror the majority of things that these senior citizens represent. Brigette is already making plans to find a little anxiety-filled furball that we can take out on nightly walks and pamper with no limits. I have personal plans to lose 80% of my hair by my 40th birthday. Brigette has already started emulating Mom's late-night habits. Luckily, we don't have any stairs. Funny, but in our relationship, the snoring is reversed. I try to fall asleep as fast as I can just the way Mom does. All in all, we just wanted to say Happy 30th Anniversary to the Viejos and we happen to love you, currently.

Love it!!!

I love Mom and Dad!  I can't tell you how grateful I am that I got them and they are stuck with me! I am grateful for their kindness and love, their humor and fun, their goodness and patience and the list goes on and on.

One of my favorite memories of Dad that I still tell people about to this day is the 15 minute clean-up.  I think that at some point it was an hour clean-up and he had to keep taking that time down so that we kids would actually do something.  He would make a list of things on the white board and then blast the Sousa marches from the stereo in the family room.  We'd all begrudgingly come into the kitchen to do our part, knowing the sooner we did, the sooner that music would turn off.  Dad has taught all of us kids hard work and dedication.  I never see him being lazy - EVER!!!  He always has a project or an idea or something that he is into.

I think one of my favorite memories of Mom is her jumpiness.  I know that sounds weird, but it always makes me laugh when I think about how we could just quietly say her name and she would jump a mile into the air, grabbing her heart and going, "Auh!"  Amazing!  I also remember as a child sitting around the corner from whichever room she was in with my friend Bryttin.  We had a game where we'd sing the first line of a song - any song, really - and Mom would pick it up and just keep singing it.  The funny thing is that she didn't realize we were doing this - she'd just sing away, cheerfully!  That is something that I admire about Mom - her cheerfulness.  She is always kind and optimistic and has encouraging words to give.  Mom is always giving.

I love you both and wish you the best anniversary EVER!!!

Love,
Heath